Arrogant worms - Christmas Turkey Blues

Hey kid, why the long face 
Is it cuz Santa Clause is flying right over your place 
You"ve been a bad kid all year 
So quit you snivellin" sucker now and mop up them tears 
You don"t deserve a damn thing 
You"re not even cute and your attitude stinks 
It must suck to be you 
Nobody likes you so what can you do 
You think you got problems kid, you think you got strife 
But come each December do you fear for your life 
Oh well, I"m your turkey, baby, so your troubles are small 
Now I"m stuffed on your table, I"m a tasty butterball 

Cuz I"ve got the Christmas turkey blues 
If you got your necked ripped out then you"d have them too 
Cuz I"ve got the Christmas turkey blues 
You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too 
Let"s take a walk! Gobble, gobble baby! 

You sir, you look like heck 
Didn"t you get your Christmas bonus cheque 
Or maybe your woman left you 
Ripped your heart right out of your chest and spat on it too 
Is that why you"re reeking of gin 
You look disheveled and there"s drool on your chin 
You thought that this love would last 
But she said, "Merry Christmas, baby" and she booted your ass 
Well that"s tough for you mister, too bad about your ordeal 
How about getting stuffed in the wintertime, see how you feel 
I don"t get to yank no bones or make me a wish 
It won"t be long "til I"m just some scraps on your dish 

Cuz I"ve got the Christmas turkey blues 
If your butt was stuffed and roasted then you"d have then too 
I"ve got the Christmas turkey blues 
You chase me and waste and baste me and taste me and drown me in gravy too 

Cuz I"ve got the Christmas turkey blues 
Oh, you know what it"s like having the Christmas Turkey blues, baby? 
I tell you -- hey, what are you doing with that axe? 
Oh no, oh no, oh no, baby, NO! 
Well, now that I"m here on your plate, what do you want? 
You want some white meat or some dark meat, leg, breast, or thigh? 
Hey, you ought to see my giblet you know 
Oh, oh, OH! 
Cuz I"ve got the Christmas turkey blues 
Wouldn"t you just rather have some ham, or how about some chicken... 


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